Chasen Dreams

Admittedly, I failed to track our household expenses for the last months. Yet, I’m quite sure that our expenses ballooned because of Baby C.  It’s expensive to have a baby.  Milk, diaper, nanny’s salary and vaccines eat up a portion of our household budget.  Our electricity went up by 100% too.  But the happiness of having our darling girl is PRICELESS!  Decreasing the budget for Baby C is definitely not an option.  My husband and I agreed that as much as we can, we will only give the best for Baby C when it comes to her needs, comfort, health and education.     There are things that can’t be scrimped on.   There are also expenses that can be slashed.   I assessed our combined monthly income vis a vis our monthly fixed expenses.   I  realized that our fixed expenses (baby's milk and diaper, utilities, condo unit amort, house and lot amort, lot in Naga City amort) do not  exceed 50% of our  mon...

Weight gain has been my perennial concern since high school years.  You know , I was not actually obese or even chubby during high school and college.  My weight was normal. My picture below could attest to that.  But during those times, I felt so fat.   I  perceived myself as lumba lumba.   I guess it was part of  growing up – the I-feel-so-dissatisfied-with-my-appearance phase.   The mother in me hopes that my guess is  wrong, that  there is no such phase,  that Baby C will always feel beautiful and confident (but not conceited). As much as I want to shield her from negative feelings and stuff, I know that all I could do is to guide her...and yes, pray for her.  studio photo with my ex-boyfriend  It took a long time before I fully accepted my  shape, my skin and myself as a whole.  It took a long time before I accepted  that I’m pango, that my eyes are not of th...

Making a home “livable” does not end after construction or renovation.  You have to clean it, re-decorate it, maintain it and what not.  I grew up in a “transforming” home.  Every now and then, may pagbabago, be it with the arrangement of the furniture or additional rooms.  Our home in Naga has undergone several renovations/extensions.    Yan ang "bisyo" ng mga magulang ko. The latest was the construction of koi pond and grotto.    No. We do not  have a grandiose home but we have a decent home.  Considering that shelter is one of  our basic needs, my parents prioritized building a home over eating out or buying branded stuff.   Back then, I never experienced  wearing branded clothes  or eating out every weekend. However, I also didn’t experience packing up and going from one apartment to another because we have our own home. My mother would always tell me that one’s  home is a reflection of h...

I’m being too emotional these days.  I easily cry. I easily get pissed off.     Sorry to burst your bubble, but these mood swings have nothing to do with my “hormones”.  I  am  just frustrated and sad. People who know me  except for my  husband would be surprised reading this post. They thought  that I am really not affected, that I’m healed a day after the result of the “battle”.  I guess I am good at hiding my feelings or maybe people around me know what I am going through but they  choose to let me feel that everything’s normal and okay (which I appreciate).    For days, my husband’s spiel to console me was  “It’s okay. It doesn’t define you.  Move forward. I still love you.” With the thought  that his encouraging spiel was not working, “Babe, let’s go to the mall. Let’s buy the bag  ( you showed me.” “I don’t deserve a bag”, my reply. Then,  I saw a very tempting IG p...

Two years ago, I blogged about our first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife.  We had a date in a burger stand near the condo we were renting then.  It was a cheap date, yes.  However, it was date filled with hopes and dreams.  Our reason for not spending too much was we were saving for something bigger than a plate of steak i.e. a home which we can call our own. Last year, what we had for Valentine’s Day were bichobicho and water shared with the carpenters/electrician who renovated our condo.   It was a cheap date, yes.  However,  it was a date filled with fulfilment.  During that time, we already saw the fruit of our  burger dates and “tuyo” diet.   This year’s Valentine’s Day, we just stayed  at  home..  It was a cheap date, yes. However, it was a date filled with joy.  It was the best Valentine’s Day ever.  It’s not only because our dream to have our own crib was realized but also because o...

Hiring a nanny is indispensable if you are a working mom unless you are one of those lucky few who have parents/relatives   willing to take care of your kid/s. Being one of the former, I hired a nanny.  It took months before I found one.  Just like all moms, I’m choosy. Mas choosy pa  ako ngayon kesa nung naghahanap ako ng boyfriend. lol. Just imagine leaving your kid/s to a total stranger.   After the long quest for a nanny, I welcomed Ate Diyosa into our home and into our lives.   Although I am older than her, I call her Ate Diyosa.  I want Baby C to call her Ate Diyosa, not Yaya Diyosa.  Para kasing pangmayaman na masyado kung  yaya ang tawag. Lol.  And I  want her to feel that she’s part of the family.     Ate Diyosa is  only 18.  Unang salta niya sa Manila.     Let’s  just say that  she’s not the “heaven sent” type of nanny.  She doesn’t cook. She w...

Hi everyone! If you've been following me on Instagram, you probably know the subject of this blog post. I already have a baby!   Her name is Cean but I dotingly call her Baby C.    No. I am not a fan of Gossip Girl! Lol.   They say children cannot choose their parents, and vice versa but not in our case.   I chose to be a mom.   I chose to be a mom to Baby C.   Honestly, it was not an easy choice.   At first, it was like “Yes! I want to have a baby!” But having a baby is not as easy as that.      It is not as easy as getting a new bag or adopting a pet or even saying   yes to a proposal.   It’s a commitment.   It’s a covenant that I will love her more than I love my husband...more than I love myself.   You know, that thing called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE…   I consulted Him.   I prayed   and it worked.   As always, prayers work.   The next thing I knew, Baby C was already in my ar...