Hi! I was MIA last year. I won't use the usual excuse this time. I was not busy. In fact, I was and still am unemployed. I did not lose my job though. I resigned from work and moved to Sydney last year. The reason why I did not write when I had all the resources to write is because I did not feel like writing. The big move in the midst of the pandemic drained me emotionally and mentally. That's the reason why I chose REBUILD as my one word for the year 2021.
The pandemic is not yet over and no one knows when it will be over. However, we can't just sit, do nothing and wait for the "old normal" just like what I did in 2020. The pandemic came like a thief in the night, leaving me with no chance of beating it. Like all of us, I was caught off guard. I did not know what to do. So I paused and put all my plans on hold. I simply survived while telling myself that it will be over soon. However, no matter how hard I tried to give myself a pep talk, the anxiety and fear kept growing. Everyday was a struggle. You see, moving to another country and being a housewife after years of working wasn't easy. I was adjusting to my new environment and to my new role while worrying about my family back in the Philippines. Also, the "What's your job?" "Do you have a job?" "You should find a job." sucked my confidence dry. I started questioning my choice. I started questioning my capabilities. I was back to zero.
While struggling, I also felt guilty. I felt that I was too entitled to be sad and anxious knowing that there were so many people whose battles were worse than mine. So, I tried to appear fine and cried only when no one is looking. While questioning my strength, I pretended to be strong.
Looking back, I realize that perhaps I am really strong, stronger than I thought I was. Waking up every single day when you feel like giving up was not easy. Surviving in 2020 was indeed a feat.
Last year was definitely not a good year for most of us. But, still, I have so many things to be grateful for. I am grateful for my father's successful heart procedure. I am grateful that someone very close to me recovered from Covid and did not transmit the virus to my parents. I am grateful that we were able to move here before the close of the borders. I am grateful for my family's good health. I am grateful for old and new friends. I am grateful for my husband's hardwork and patience. I am grateful for my daughter's resilience. I am grateful that 2020 made me a better wife and mother. I am grateful for the chance to slowly pick up the pieces and REBUILD.
What's your "one word" for the year 2021?
Happy New Year!
Hello! Hello!! Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment. Gusto ko kiligin kay crush hahahaha joke Pero natuwa ako dahil kahit paano may nagbabasa pa din pala ng blog ko. I remember years ago, napag-usapan ka namin ng friend ko (http://pseudoshrink.blogspot.com/) She doesn't update anymore :( but we connect via socmed. She likes your blog and the way you write.
ReplyDeleteNagulat ako na nag-migrate ka na pala at ang medyo nagulat din ako sa cost ng convo renovation :O Never imagined it would really cost a lot.
"I felt that I was too entitled to be sad and anxious knowing that there were so many people whose battles were worse than mine. " - Super relate!!! I have my worst days and have to cry on my own.
I hope this year will be "real better" for us. Stay safe :)
Hi! Ako yung kinilig sa sinabi ng friend mo . I read her blogs before. I also follow her on IG, nakabili pa ata ako ng bag sakanya. hehe.
DeleteActually, hindi naman namin plinano magmigrate pero sabi nga opportunity only knocks once, kaya we grabbed it na. As to the condo renovation, I think reasonable na din considering the cost of labor and materials. Tinawaran ko pa yan. hehe.
Stay safe and regards to your friend.
I think mine would have to be simplicity. Dati ko na like ang simple things, pero nitong nagkaipandemic, mas tumatak sakin na dapat mamuhay ng simple kasi mas masaya at meaningful pag ganun, kasi di natin alam anytime pwede tayo mawala sa mundo kaya wag na gawing kumplikado mga bagay-bagay. Hehe. Nagulat din ako na bigla nasa Sydney na kayo. Diba nga pareho tayong gov't employee, so naisip ko, nag-indefinite leave lang kaya sya or baka nagresign na talaga? Nahiya naman ako i-DM ka, hahaha. But I agree with you, siguro if sakin din mangyari na magkaroon si hubby ng opportunity na magwork abroad and maisama kami, I'll go with him. Feeling ko ibang level din ang fulfillment ng pagiging housewife at feeling ko may ibubuga din naman ako sa larangang yun, hehehe! Seriously, as in, ang dami ko rin kasi gusto gawin na di ko nagagawa kasi working ako. Hay, if only money wasn't an issue, lalo na ngayon na may baby na kami, feeling ko masaya and challenging at the same time ang maging housewife/home manager.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad na gradually, nakakapag-adjust ka na dyan at alam mo na strong ka, oo naman strong ka and you're fine (way better than many others!) and that you're in the right place kasi sabi nila kung nasan ang family mo, yun ang home mo. :)
Yes to simplicity. Yan din nagustuhan ko Dito. Yung mga simpleng bagay na di namin nagagawa diyan,nagagawa namin dito like Yung paghatid naming mag Asawa Sa school Ng anak namin every day.
DeleteNagulat din Ako na nandito na kami.haha. mabilis Lang talaga ang mga pangyayari. Re: leave, Wala nang indefinite leave. Hanggang 6 months na Lang DAW. Will DM you the details. Hehe.
NASA draft ko pa Yung experience ko being a housewife.hehe. will post it pagnatapos na.
Thanks for dropping by. Hope magkita Tayo in person. Malay Mo Dito Sa Sydney. Hehe