WHY DO I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT

Weight gain has been my perennial concern since high school years.  You know , I was not actually obese or even chubby during high school and college.  My weight was normal. My picture below could attest to that.  But during those times, I felt so fat.   I  perceived myself as lumba lumba.   I guess it was part of  growing up – the I-feel-so-dissatisfied-with-my-appearance phase.   The mother in me hopes that my guess is  wrong, that  there is no such phase,  that Baby C will always feel beautiful and confident (but not conceited). As much as I want to shield her from negative feelings and stuff, I know that all I could do is to guide her...and yes, pray for her. 

studio photo with my ex-boyfriend 

It took a long time before I fully accepted my  shape, my skin and myself as a whole.  It took a long time before I accepted  that I’m pango, that my eyes are not of the same size, that my legs are short, that I’m not the beauty queen material (pangarap ko kaya maging beauty queen lol).  It took a long time before I fully embraced my flaws and imperfections.   It took a long time before I stopped obsessing about my appearance.   For a long time, I had been feeling a tinge of insecurity, envy and self-pity.    It was a long journey.     But now,   I can proudly say that I love every inch of Chasen. I celebrate my beauty and I don’t really give a darn on what people say about my appearance.     

   

Would you believe that the “Ang taba mo na!” comment no longer hurt me? True.  Oh, there was a time I caught myself quipping “Ikaw, ang pangit mo na!” It was not because I got  hurt  by my acquaintance’s  comment but because I found it improper. Imagine, it was Christmas eve and instead of greeting me  Merry Christmas, she said “Uy, ang taba mo na! Di kita nakilala.”  Okay. Fine. My reply was improper too. Pasko pa naman nun. Lol.  Pero di talaga ako nahurt. Promise.     

 I’m not skinny. I’m fat. I have flabby arms. I have bilbil. I have chubby cheeks.     Am I happy with my life? Yes. It’s because I believe that there’s more to life than my taba.    However,   it doesn’t mean that I can already  stuff my stomach with almost every edible stuff I see.   It doesn’t mean that I should stop losing the extra pounds.       Although I’m quite certain that my bilbil doesn’t define me , I  acknowledge the fact that having a healthy  weight still matters and the dangers of being overweight are real. 

I love my body that’s why I know that it deserves to be cared for.  I love myself that’s why I  will never  get tired of enhancing my appearance, my skills and talents. I will never ever get  tired of bringing out the best version of myself. 

Back to my question, why do I want to lose weight?

Because I want to do a matchy matchy OOTD with my daughter and I am afraid that the dress which I am planning to purchase from Twilo  won’t fit perfectly.  Now, scrap the foregoing paragraphs and look at the matchy matchy mother-daughter dresses.  They’re so cute, right?   

source: Twilo facebook account